WHAT TO DO ABOUT A BULLY!
Bullying in the Nail Industry
Bullying…what a strange concept, that someone would feel it ok to intentionally make someone else feel worthless to empower themselves! But it sadly happens, everyday not only in the industry that we know and love but also in everyday life!
I am speaking from experience on bullying! I was bullied throughout my school life, and have also continued to face bullying and negativity in my professional adult life too! I am not going to sit here and tell you all of the facts and figures on bullying in the industry, because quite frankly it is not only boring, but also irrelevant! By that I mean that when you are suffering at the hands of a bully it doesn’t matter what has happened to others in the past, what does matter is what is happening to you at the time that it is happening.
I LOVE the nail and beauty industry. It is all I have ever known since the tender age of 13. I love the fact that the industry is fast moving, creative and the fact that there is something new to learn every single day! With all of the positives within the industry comes the constant pressure to perform to a high standard, the constant need to approval (from yourself, clients and fellow professionals), and the constant feeling of doubt with your creations! Being in a creative industry means that the work you create is something that you love, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that others will love it too!
Social media is an incredible tool that we all use to gain a foundation within the industry, as incredible as social media can be used as a tool to create interest and and a foot hold in the nail world, it can also have a negative impact. With an increasing following means that you are putting yourself in front of not only people that are like minded and appreciate your work but also those that see you as a threat and competition, this then gives way to negative comments and the bullying nature of other people.
It is strange that ‘social’ media can be very ‘antisocial’ at times. Not everybody will react to posts in the way that you personally would. With that comes the lack of understanding from you as to why they would post a negative comment on your work or treat you in the way that you wouldn’t dream of treating others.
So how do we deal with it?
When you are being bullied at school for example you have to face the bullies head on and be in their presence on a daily basis…but with the social media world that we now live in, it is a very different story!
It feels incredible to have support and encouragement and positivity on posts, and don’t get me wrong they are in abundance, providing you take the correct steps to surround yourself with like minded, positive and encouraging people. You could receive 100 positive comments or reactions on a post, and there could be one negative comment on the same post. It is that one negative comment that would stick with you. Why is that? Well we are looking a approval, whether we care to admit it or not, and that is why that one negative comment sticks with us.
So here is the lightbulb moment…there is nothing you can do about it! I know that sounds harsh but there is nothing we can do to change the way a person feels or acts. Have you heard the term, ‘once a bully, always a bully’, well my friends unfortunately it is true! Bullying behaviour is a habit, not a very nice one, but one that has been practiced for years and perfected by the bully, because it is a habit it has become a natural instinctive way for the bully to react to certain situations. When they are threatened, whether that be by your lifestyle, talent, or popularity they will react in the only way they know…negatively!
Just because that bully finds it natural to act in that way does not mean that you must find it natural to accept it…in fact under no circumstances should you EVER accept bullying behaviour!
So how do we deal with bullies on social media?
Are you ready for a lightbulb moment? Here goes…DELETE THEM! It is that simple!
Under no circumstances should you accept their behaviour, but you should also under no circumstances allow yourself to waste any time or energy on their negativity. If you do that…they have won!
The beauty of social media means that to remove the bully from your life it can be done in a few simple clicks. Delete the comment and delete the person! SIMPLE! Do not allow them to give you any self-doubt, do not allow them to lead you down a negative path and you can most certainly not allow them to ruin your creativity and your love for the nail world. THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT!
Surround yourself with like minded nail techs that want to see each other succeed and flourish, stood shoulder to shoulder, not battling against each other! In all the groups and social media platforms I have set up, this is the ethos that we carry…I have a zero-tolerance policy for bullying a negativity!
So, take a leaf out of my book and give yourself a zero-tolerance policy to yourself and your creations! You only know how to do you, so keep doing it! Delete the bully and move forward! You cannot trip over what is behind you, so leave them behind you where they belong and move forward! Your future self will thank you for it! I promise!